Two Years Changes Everything

January 13th, 2026

I’d normally post this in the journal section of my site, but I am traveling, sitting at a bar in a hotel, so I figured this belongs on the travel blog. Spoiler alert – it’s not exactly a happy post.

It’s amazing how much can change in a couple of years. This day, two years ago, my wife was struggling with both short and long term memory as the tumor continued to destroy her brain. But she worked so hard at being able to wish me a happy birthday that morning when I woke up. It meant a lot to both of us. Birthdays were always something we celebrated, usually with a good dinner and strange birthday cards. That evening, we had our usual celebration at our favorite restaurant (Southfork), and we shared the usual gigantic ice cream pie…she even ate a good chunk of it. It was a good day.

So today was the first where I’ve reached that unfortunate point in life, when most of the birthday wishes I get are e-mails from health care and travel companies, and from a few close friends. Please – I’m not complaining to my friends, since I did not go around telling everyone what my birth date is. No expectations there. It’s just that my parents, in-laws, brother and wife have all passed, so there is really nobody left to celebrate with. Welcome to old age.

But, today I’m in Santa Cruz, and spent the morning photographing Elephant Seals at Ano Nuevo State Park. I’m sitting in the hotel bar, eating a pretty good burger, a vodka martini that someone else payed for, and now a nice glass of Cabernet (Daou).  Last evening, I had dinner with friends I have not seen in a long time, and talked a lot about my travels and of course, Jan. These were all good friends of hers. Tomorrow I’ll be back with the Elephant Seals, and plan to cruise around some other places on the coast, and then have dinner with a friend. Thursday I’ll spend time with another good friend of ours who I have not seen in a while, and then head back home. So it’s turning into a nice, short trip. But much like Christmas, from now on, this is a day I’m just going to ignore. There is just not much to celebrate anymore.

Life goes on.

Comments

3 responses to “Two Years Changes Everything”

  1. Ann H-G Avatar
    Ann H-G

    never knew your birthday date- both my Mom and Sister share your birthday month. I’ve never been big on birthday celebrations- like you and Jan- just a good meal and a good drink and for goodness sake no waiters singing happy birthday (unless it’s in Italian). Continue to make lemonade out of lemons – and Happy Birthday!

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  2. enthusiasticallygardenerfbed6c550b Avatar
    enthusiasticallygardenerfbed6c550b

    Best wishes to you for a nice birthday and next trip around the sun. Though perhaps not truly happy, maybe you can celebrate that you can easily recall past cherished memories of time with Jan, and that you can still travel and take magnificent photos to share that brighten the lives of others.

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  3. Elissa McQuaid Avatar

    You may not have been fishing, but now January 13 is in my calendar with your name on it. Given the tone of your post, “Happy Birthday” wishes seem inappropriate. Instead I’ll affirm my friendship, let you know I’m thinking of you, send good supportive hug-like thoughts in your general direction (nod to Monty Python). Meanwhile, as your junior by a year or two, I can continue to do that in theory for a little while more.

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