Category: travel

Default category for all travel related posts.

On the road again (blog version)

On the road again
Goin’ places that I’ve never been
Seein’ things that I may never see again
And I can’t wait to get on the road again

I added a journal entry yesterday, about the start of my trip to Colorado, with most of it written in the Sacramento airport or on the plane. Given my current state of mind, it was fairly sad and a bit depressing until I had a second glass of wine on the plane. I kept the finished product in the Journal, but there were enough portions that were not depressing, and mostly related to travel, so with a bit of editing, made for a worthwhile post on the travel blog. So here goes.

This is sort of a live stream post, since almost all of it was initially written on the way from Sacramento to Denver. Of course I’m posting it the next day, but you get my drift. At any rate, I was lamenting in my journal entry, about how returning to Colorado can be a somewhat melancholy experience – we lived there off and on for 43 years, starting in 1979. There are not a heck of a lot of places in Colorado that Jan and I had not already visited – it’s sort of like going to Capitola or Carmel on steroids. We moved to Colorado in 1978, back when Denver really was a cow town. There was virtually no development between where we initially lived and Boulder, and there were virtually no stop signs or traffic lights near us. Now, the corridor between Denver and Boulder is completely developed. Jammed is more like it. We traveled in the mountains most every weekend, skiing all winter, and just taking drives in the summer to mountain towns. Back then, you could drive to Vail and back for the day without traffic jams. Much to our Irish Setter’s chagrin – Clancy never wanted to leave home – a true couch potato. Through the years, Jan and I traveled I-25 from Fort Collins (from Wyoming actually) to New Mexico, and have been to most every mountain town. And I have memories of all of these.

Colorado is just full of memories of Jan, and all the things we did together for most of our married lives. Heck, even landing at the airport (DIA) brings back recent memories – traveling to Denver when we were house hunting 5 years ago, or using Find My Device to search for the iPad she left behind once (we found it!), or the time we both traveled back from our consulting jobs, from different coasts, and met at the airport after Jan was layed-off. Jan was really down in the dumps, but I met her with flowers and a bottle of champagne. So many memories.

So I wrote most of this on the plane, which is not too bright when the memories put you on the edge of breaking into tears. This happens a lot to me – writing about Jan reminds me of yet another Jack Nicholson movie (I really like his movies), “Something’s Gotta Give”, where Diane Keaton is a play writer, and she writes about her relationship with his character, sobbing the entire time. Well, that’s me sometimes when I write my journal entries. I took a deep breath, and closed the iPad. Dinner was about to show up, a good time for a break and a glass of wine. And to switch back to travel talk

During my years of IT consulting, I traveled most every week, always on United, and accrued enough miles to reach the lofty 1K level of the Mileage Plus program. At that point, I was upgraded to first class on most every trip, sometimes without requesting it. That was great except for one time when I was traveling with Jan, and they bumped me to first class. Uh….but what about Jan. She wound up sitting at the bulkhead between coach and first class, so we were only a few rows apart….but miles apart in service. I was sitting next to a United pilot who was dead-heading back to Denver. When he found out Jan was sitting in coach, he spread the word to the other pilots sitting there, and to the flight crew. It was not a pleasant flight for me – the pilots kept up a conversation with Jan the entire trip, with a lot of jokes at my expense. But they were nice enough to serve Jan first class food and beverages, so it worked out OK.

As we started to travel overseas, Jan quickly came to the conclusion that it was not worth suffering in coach, especially after a couple of really awful flights on Aer Lingus and Italia airlines. From that point forward, she said we will only fly business or first – it’s worth it. I agreed. Now that I’m traveling alone, I’m still all in on upgrading, especially for those long flights to far away places. Even on short flights like the one to Denver. Getting back to dinner on this flight, I had made a choice a few days before – there were the usual choices of salads, some type of chicken dish, a vegetarian pasta, a cheese plate, and something unhealthy but interesting – a Beef Melt sandwich. Why not – I’m tired of always being healthy. Bad choice – I did not notice the description of the toxic mix of pepper they hid under the cheese. At least the dessert and wine were OK.

Melted Beef Sandwich. Blah

So, after a glass of wine at the airport (Vino Volo) and a glass on the plane, my overall mood had improved even with the overly spiced sandwich. The flight got off late, but magically landed on time so all I had to do was negotiate getting to the main terminal, finding my baggage, catching a shuttle for the car rental, and then drive to Aurora to my friends’ place. Phew. DIA has always been difficult compared to some other airports, to find your way between gates, terminals and baggage carousels and with the seemingly never ending multi-year construction project, it is worse than ever. Terminal A, where we landed had the options of taking the always overcrowded train to the main terminal, or take a 10 mile circuitous walk to the baggage area. I decided that I needed to stretch my legs, so opted for the walkway. Fortunately, there were moving walkways which made my aching legs happy, and some “interesting” display along the way.

I’m not sure this is what passengers want to see coming or going. Not exactly an inviting greeting for visitors to Colorado. Whatever.

So, I made it safely to my friends’ house, and this first day will be all about acclimatization to being mile high again (altitude, not that other thing). Maybe I’ll take a long walk to get used to the lack of O2, and just relax, read a book, work on my blog and book. I have some touristy things scheduled on Thursday, and the Incline on Sunday – other than that, I’ll find some other stuff to do. As my father-in-law used to say when he had no clue about a problem, “I’ll figure it out” (Jan and I adopted that phrase as well).

September 30, 2025
Traveling Solo

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they’re sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it’s better than drinkin’ alone

Billy Joel, Piano Man

I wrote an entry in my grief journal a couple of weeks ago, describing my experiences and thoughts on traveling alone. I’ve been thinking about that since then and decided to expand a bit on the topic, and post it in the blog this time around.

I have recently read through a few other blogs about traveling solo, and for the most part, the authors are doing this as a life-style choice, not as the result of the loss of their spouse. These blogs are chock full of interesting travel stories, tips on places to go as a single – all happy stories about fulfilling dreams of traveling the world with the freedom of being unencumbered with jobs or relationships. Life is good – you can do what you want, go where you want, and make new friends if you want. Freedom is the key word.

Solo traveling for widowers is a different ballgame – it is not a choice, but more of a necessity for surviving a world turned upside down. Once you get through the initial shock of losing your spouse, you are faced with the enormous challenge of learning to live life as one, not as a couple. Travel beckons as an escape, a means of finding some direction in what has suddenly become an empty life. It is a poor substitute for a vibrant life filled with the joy of sharing new experiences with your partner, and for introverts like myself, it requires some significant personality changes. And then there is the dreaded “can I join you” moment at meals onboard a cruise ship.

Solo traveler nightmare –
may I join you for dinner?

But for me at least, I enjoy the new experiences and adventures, which fill some of that void. Do I feel a sense of freedom going it alone? No, not at all and doubt if I ever will. I’d prefer to have my soul mate with me. But sometimes, as I did this last trip to Alaska, I find moments of incredible peace and tranquility, sitting by myself and taking in the incredible beauty surrounding me. Those moments make it all worthwhile.

On a related and more positive note, there was an article in the Washington Post today about travel companies finally starting to encourage solo travelers. It’s about time! With the exception of Road Scholars, most every travel/expedition company adds a single traveler “surcharge” or penalty which in most cases, can be many thousands of dollars. I understand, sort of, the justification for doing this – most of the cabins on cruise ships are configured for two occupants, and the published trip prices are based on double occupancy. The surcharge is an attempt to make up the difference for a single occupant. Some of the companies do offer single travelers the opportunity to double up with another solo – and in some cases, if they do not find an appropriate room mate (I assume based on gender), you do not have to pay the surcharge. Sharing a small state room, and even smaller bathroom, with someone other than my spouse does not work for me. I cannot even imagine sharing a tiny cabin on the National Geographic/Lindblad ships with another guy, and even worse, a complete stranger. Too weird for me at least. (See note below on an exception to my rule).

I think the travel companies, especially the high-end ones like National Geographic/Lindblad, Ponant, Paul Gauguin, etc., figure that most solo travelers are willing to pay the surcharge, and the majority of solo travelers wind up booking with a close friend or family member. So why bother making special arrangements for a small population. From my limited experience to date, I have been the only single guy on all but one of the trips. There have been a number of widows on each trip, all of whom traveled with someone close (daughters, parents, friends). According to the article, that demographic seems to be changing, so maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised in the future to see an invoice without that extra charge. I’m not holding my breath for that.

I mentioned there was an exception to my rule of sharing quarters with a complete stranger. Next February I am scheduled on a Natural Habitat trip to photograph the huge brown bears on Kodiak Island. There are only 8 passengers on this trip, sharing cramped quarters on a converted fishing trawler. I’ll be sharing an extremely small space in a half a modified shipping container – bunk beds, a sink, and a shared bathroom for four. It’s more like camping on a boat. I can survive four nights of that…I hope. I’ll be worried enough about surviving the bears.

September 24, 2025