I’m four days away from my next trip, and I’m just about packed and ready to go. I’ve been really good the past weeks since I returned from Baja – no wine or martini’s (#!@&*!!!), over-hydrating resulting in many late night trips (no details necessary…if you are over 65, you get it), and I’ve been mostly avoiding over exerting myself. I’ve even started meditation, and monitoring my EKG pulse and blood pressure every day. I’m really acting like an old man. I guess I’m acting my age. Bah.
Packing was really weird – the trip offers a lot of water activities: paddle boarding, kayaking and snorkeling. I’m not packing gear for any of those, so there’s a lot more room in my luggage. I am carrying a few new, small items. A blood pressure cuff, and my Kardia EKG device. There is a ship’s physician, but I’d like to do a daily check on my own, without letting the ship staff know about my condition. The last thing I need is to have the staff watching me all the time. I’m concerned a bit, but not really that worried (I’m not supposed to do that either). My BP and BMP have been kind of weird the past two weeks, but I’ve been relatively active without any issues. I’m willing to take the risk.
So, in a few days I’ll be off to Panama City. I’ve seen a bunch of videos of the canal crossing, and that does look interesting, as does pretty much everything on the itinerary. It will be nice to photograph something other than ice and snow – a bit of color would be wonderful.
Speaking of which, with a little bit of luck, I might get to photograph the extremely rare Costa Rican River Penguins.
Antarctica was my sixth multi-day trip this past year, so along with a veritable slew of day trips and shorter adventures, I have a pretty good idea now of the direction my life is going. It’s that ‘As Good As It Gets’ thing I write about, that I’m beginning to adjust to. So, now that my brain and body have recovered from the endless journey home from Antarctica, I thought I’d document some of my thoughts on what it’s like to morph from a stable life, shared with your life partner, to something that was unimaginable just a few years ago. A life based without an anchor companion, learning to be comfortable spending a considerable amount of time alone, and surprisingly, finding some fulfillment, direction and even enjoyment in the amazing places I traveled to. Going on two years since Jan passed, I still grieve her loss, and still dwell upon those awful 11 months, but not to the degree that I had at first. So what’s this new life like? The blog pretty much describes it – I grieve the loss of my wife and of my past life, so I’m a widower, and travel is pretty much what keeps me going. The blog title is what I’ve become – the Traveling Widower. I’m planning to copyright the term. Maybe I’ll sell t-shirts and coffee mugs. (No, not really).
Solo travel was something I feared at first – my often mentioned fear of being on a ship filled with strangers still persists, but I have learned to cope with that, and actually found myself enjoying meals on this last trip. I recall my first counseling session the day after Jan passed – she said I should expect to have some significant personality changes over time. She was right. It’s been a struggle, but I’m relatively comfortable now joining a group at dinner or lunch, and actively participating in conversations. I guess I cannot really call myself an introvert anymore.
What I found interesting on this last trip was the number of discussions I had without bringing up why I was alone, unless someone asked. I still feel weird being by myself, but I’m no longer embarrassed about traveling alone. That’s something new for me. But some people kind of guess when they see the double wedding band on my pinky. I’ll always wear that.
The travel part is really what keeps me going – I’m a different person when traveling. My mind is completely focused on the trip, even if I’m just driving somewhere. Photography and the blog keep me occupied in the evenings, either on a ship or a hotel. And the places I’ve been traveling to have been amazing – there were times on all of the trips, where I was just absolutely stunned and speechless by what I was seeing. I simply put the camera down and let it all soak in – I have memories which I will never forget. Antarctica was like that on every day of the trip.
But there were also moments on each trip where I wished Jan was sharing the moment with me. And at least one time, I felt she was there with me.
Returning home from these adventures is still difficult for me – walking into an empty house, with nobody to share my experience with is so incredibly hard to handle. But that’s where my writing and photography helps to fill in some of the emptiness. Busy work is not much of a replacement for companionship, but it keeps my mind occupied. And after a day or two home, I’m already looking towards the next trip, and looking at my bucket list for other trips to schedule. I’ve got permanent happy feet. I’ve scheduled two trips since returning from Antarctica, and already have a packing list for my next trip (Baja). I’m not sure I’ll make it another two months without traveling – I’m guessing I’ll find someplace to go for a while in January.
So this is my new life – Bromberg 2.0. Anyone need a coffee mug or t-shirt?
Disclaimer: No, that is not a real picture, the same goes for the other image of t-shirts and coffee mugs. It’s all AI (thanks Google Gemini). My wife would have looked at this, and then walked away shaking her head. So please, do not ask for a coffee mug or t-shirt. But I will be submitting this for the highly sought after Nobel Peculiar Literature award.
The Traveling Widower 