The Traveling Widower

Tag: family

  • Two Years Changes Everything

    January 13th, 2026

    I’d normally post this in the journal section of my site, but I am traveling, sitting at a bar in a hotel, so I figured this belongs on the travel blog. Spoiler alert – it’s not exactly a happy post.

    It’s amazing how much can change in a couple of years. This day, two years ago, my wife was struggling with both short and long term memory as the tumor continued to destroy her brain. But she worked so hard at being able to wish me a happy birthday that morning when I woke up. It meant a lot to both of us. Birthdays were always something we celebrated, usually with a good dinner and strange birthday cards. That evening, we had our usual celebration at our favorite restaurant (Southfork), and we shared the usual gigantic ice cream pie…she even ate a good chunk of it. It was a good day.

    So today was the first where I’ve reached that unfortunate point in life, when most of the birthday wishes I get are e-mails from health care and travel companies, and from a few close friends. Please – I’m not complaining to my friends, since I did not go around telling everyone what my birth date is. No expectations there. It’s just that my parents, in-laws, brother and wife have all passed, so there is really nobody left to celebrate with. Welcome to old age.

    But, today I’m in Santa Cruz, and spent the morning photographing Elephant Seals at Ano Nuevo State Park. I’m sitting in the hotel bar, eating a pretty good burger, a vodka martini that someone else payed for, and now a nice glass of Cabernet (Daou).  Last evening, I had dinner with friends I have not seen in a long time, and talked a lot about my travels and of course, Jan. These were all good friends of hers. Tomorrow I’ll be back with the Elephant Seals, and plan to cruise around some other places on the coast, and then have dinner with a friend. Thursday I’ll spend time with another good friend of ours who I have not seen in a while, and then head back home. So it’s turning into a nice, short trip. But much like Christmas, from now on, this is a day I’m just going to ignore. There is just not much to celebrate anymore.

    Life goes on.

  • A Slightly Better Thanksgiving

    November 27th, 2025

    Thanksgiving has not been a happy day for me the past two years. In 2023, we were still in the hopeful stage that Jan might get a couple of good years, and that maybe a cure might be developed by then. I was not exactly in a thankful mood about anything, other than that she was still with me, and we could enjoy dinner (and life) together. For Thanksgiving 2024, Jan was gone for over 6 months. And I had just returned from the Galápagos Islands, and my brother had just died of undiagnosed, stage 4 liver cancer while I was away. Yeah, forget being thankful about anything.

    Fast forward another year. What have I got to be thankful for? Well, I’ve been on a lot of really interesting trips and seen some amazing places. Right now, I’m sitting in the forward lounge of a National Geographic/Lindblad expedition ship, watching as we approach the Argentine coast line which is free from glaciers, snow, ice and penguin poop. A welcome site after the past week in Antarctica. I should be thankful that I was able to go on such an incredible trip, and I am. But I still wish Jan had been with me…or at least that she was waiting for me at home. She never would have gone on this trip. 

    But, I’m past the awful stages of grieving, something else to be thankful for. Other than that, I’m thankful that I’ve had a strong support group of friends and family…a few more locally would be a good thing. I’m thankful and surprised that I’ve adapted enough the past year to be able to go off on my own and socialize with a ship full of strangers. Each trip does get easier.  

    And I’m thankful that my soul mate did such a great job with our financials, so that I can live this new life of mine as the travelingwidower.com. But I would rather that she were still here with me to enjoy all the travel. Something I’ll never get over. But, I’ve learned that As Good As It Gets is good enough for me.

    One more thing to be thankful for – they served a traditional Thanksgiving dinner tonight – nothing weird, and a marvelous pumpkin pie.

    Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving