The Traveling Widower

Tag: Garden-gnomes

A Gnome Haven

Winding, finding places to go
And then one day, hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say
Oomray
Oomray

The Gnome, Pink Floyd

Can I take him home?

It was hard to ignore the Grateful Gnome brew-pub after including a photo of it in my Gnome Confessions post, so I managed to slip a quick visit into my agenda for the trip, and made it there on the last day. It is located in West Denver, near a park I used to play tennis at (Berkeley Park), in a building that used to be an auto shop in another life. The gnomes did a great job converting into a restaurant and brewery. Busy little devils they are.

When we first entered (human sized, not the usual gnome cave entry), I asked what the story was about gnomes. The waitperson did not know, and pointed me over to the bar where the owner was sitting. About an hour later, we had learned the entire history of the bar, a bit of his family history, got to see a few of his gnome tattoo’s (picture below….really, I’m not making this up), and even got a tour of the small but incredible brewery in the back. The owner is a great person, fun to talk to and obviously really enjoys owning and managing the establishment – and a true gnome aficionado.

He has more than one….this was enough

As for the gnome collection, mine pales in comparison. There are small gnomes, large gnomes, happy gnomes, beer can holder gnomes, gnomes on the walls, gnomes swinging from the ceiling, signage gnomes, gnomes on the beer taps – pretty much every kind of gnome that exists in the world.

And there are gnome t-shirts of course – I almost gave in and bought one, but I was still depressed about not getting a Manitou Incline shirt or the popsicle…sigh. My glass is always half-empty.

I kind of liked the tie-dyed one

OK, I did not intend to make this an advertisement for the place, but I really enjoyed the time we spent there. The food is great – not really gnome themed, just a lot of deli and comfort food type sandwiches with a wide variety of sides. Good stuff. And as I mentioned, they also have a brewery in the rear of the building, making 12 custom brews. They have a small area packed with a lot of modern brewery equipment….and a really cool brew master.

And you do not have to worry about safety in that place – they have their own gnome-managed security service!

AI generated by me

This was the last entry on my Colorado trip agenda, and a fun and non-destructive one at that. No hiking or climbing involved, and I even got a tour of a part of Denver I’ve not seen in decades. Once upon a time, when we first moved to Denver (1979), there was an amusement park in that area (Elitch Gardens). It was torn down after closing in 1994, and the area is now housing and a ton of restaurants. But they left the original carousel dome and theater. A nice memory. There are so many of them in Colorado for me.

So I managed to hit everything I wanted to do, spent 10 days with friends instead of by myself (I had forgotten what it was like to talk to someone other than myself all day), bought what I needed for my Antarctica trip, ate too much and drank too much and maybe re-wired my brain a bit. Perfect trip.

And if you are in Denver and want to commune with gnomes:

The Grateful Gnome

October 8, 2025
Gnome Confessions

Gnome Hot Tub party in Sunnyvale

I definitely need to travel again soon – my fingers and brain desperately want to write about something, but for lack of anything interesting to write about, I’m starting to fall back on old, strange topics. Since I figure anyone who has been reading my blog entries has already determined that I’m definitely a little on the weird side, I thought I would confirm that by letting one of my deepest, darkest secrets out to the blogosphere:

I’m a garden gnome collector.

Please don’t unsubscribe or delete the blog URL. I’m sorry. Don’t tell your children. But anyone who has followed me on Facebook has seen my gnome related posts before, and eventually, word would likely have spread.

I currently have 21, maybe more, gnomes scattered about my yard, some hiding behind plants, others holding welcome signs, and a few awaiting repair in my garage. My gnomes do require painting every few years. (See photos below).

Painting & repairs

Happy, repainted Gnomes

It’s hard to keep track of the exact number – I think they replicate. I’m not sure how since they appear to be all male, and I’ve never seen either a female or baby gnome yet. There have been a few gnome losses through the years – this was the worst one – drowned after a vicious attack by a squirrel.

Tragic end after squirrel attack!

It all started decades ago in Colorado – Jan and I had bought a really nice home when we moved back from Virginia, and I discovered two weather-beaten gnomes, abandoned in the weeds in the back yard. I’d never thought much about buying garden gnomes before, but these poor guys just looked incredibly sad, so I decided to adopt them. Jan just sort of shook her head a bit. She knew what would eventually happen. This is how her father’s frog collection started. We still have a few of those in the yard.

One-eyed Jack and friends

We were in the midst of a major rework of the backyard, and from that point on, every time we went to a garden store, another gnome magically wound up in the shopping cart. And then friends noticed our collection, and started gifting us even more gnomes. Soon, we even had solar gnome garden lights. I was past the tipping point.

I managed to control gnome growth for the next few years as we moved back and forth between California and Colorado, but after I retired, and we settled in Gold River, I discovered Gnome Central aka Green Acres Garden Center. OMG. What were they thinking?

Even worse, over time, the habit spilled over into Christmas. Yes, there are holiday gnomes as well.

Well, I finally had to put an end to the uncontrolled growth of what was rapidly becoming a Gnome Incursion in my yard, when a friend gave me a copy of this important, little known expose on Garden Gnomes. They are terrorists!

A must read for collectors

I have since negotiated a peace agreement with the leader (Hernia), promising to hold off on notifying Homeland Security and levying tariffs on future gnome purchases, as long as they remain peaceful in my yard. But you have to wonder if this incursion has already reached the highest levels of our government. Who is the head of Homeland Security? KRISTI NOEM! Frightening.

The Gnome Gallery

Hernia, the leader

Gnome pool party

No, not one of mine

September 20, 2025