July 26th, 2026
This blog has been multi-purpose for me. I get to share photos and write strange stories about my travels and musings on topics like photography, solo travel, the great outdoors, and whatever else crosses my mind when I’m sitting in front of my iMac or iPad. One other broad topic which I touch on once in a while, is my life as a widower – my world was turned upside down, and maybe inside out as well, when my wife passed a few years ago, so it’s hard to avoid it entirely since it’s the reason I’m doing this blog and all the travel. Well, this is one of those posts – I’m in Colorado, staying in a great hotel, with lots of time to think about my past in this wonderful place, and what I want to do going forward with my life. And of course, I wrote a post after spending a very nice day shopping for hiking gear, and then meeting with some close friends for an outing and dinner at one of my favorite restaurants (hint: gnomes).
Colorado will always be home to me – I always wanted to live here after geology field camp in my junior year of undergraduate school, and then spending 2 months in North Park my first year of graduate school. When Jan received a job offer to move to Denver in the 1980, I was in heaven. Even as Denver and Colorado grew and became somewhat “Californicated”, I still felt blessed to be living there. Each time we moved elsewhere, we always wound up moving back. I recall when things fell apart for my job in Richmond Virginia and I wanted to move elsewhere for better jobs, Jan and I were in a REI in Atlanta, which had the walls decorated with photos of all the fourteen thousand foot peaks in Colorado. I may have started crying. Jan just shrugged, gave me a hug, and said “Let’s go home”. Which we did. I remember jumping for joy in front of the “Welcome To Colorado” sign when we cross the border from Nebraska. I never wanted to leave again. But of course, we did.
The last two times we moved back from California did not work out well for Jan. The first time, when I was still working for Google, Jan was unable to find a job so when I switched groups at Google, and was told to move back to California, she was thrilled beyond belief. I was not too thrilled but was really looking forward to be back at the Google mother ship.
The last time was when we moved during Covid – even Jan admitted that was a mistake to leave California. She panicked. But once we got to Colorado, she hated where we built our house, and was so unhappy with the weather and tennis, that she gave me that ultimatum – “I’m going back to California – you can go with if you want”. She had a lot to drink that night. Well, I agreed since I kind of missed the access to the ocean, and I had the heart condition thing.
Now I’m on my own since Jan’s death, and I’m considering whether I should move somewhere else. I’d like to get into a single story house now that I’ve developed a degenerative condition in my legs, and that means I’ve got to move somewhere else. The million dollar question is “where?”
I could just buy a different house in Gold River – simple life, HOA takes care of the front yard, but I’m turning into a hermit there when I’m in between trips. I’m not good at making new relationships, so I spend most of my time alone. I could just stay in my current abode, but there’s that second story issue, and the house is a Jan Museum. Too many memories, including her passing in my favorite room. Every piece of furniture brings back memories, and i spend little time if any, in the room we used the most, to sit and chat with a glass of wine or two. The traveling part of the Traveling Widower is easy and fun, the widower part really sucks.
I could move back to the South Bay Area – I can afford it, and would enjoy the easy access to the coast, but I really do not have any close friends there anymore. I rarely if ever hear from anyone we knew. I’d have the same isolation issue that I have here, having to join photo clubs, church groups – anything to get me out of the house.
So what’s left – Palm Desert? Way too hot in the summer. A nice place to have a second home. LA – I have a couple of cousins there, but it’s just too huge and crowded. Other states and cities – same problem about building a social network, but from scratch.
And then there is Colorado. That’s my quandary (not the 14’teener picture in the header, Mt. Quandry, which I’ve hiked a few times). I still love the state, have some of my closest friends here who I’m visiting with on this trip, medical care is great, a major airport for all the strange places I go to (direct flight to Winnipeg!) great restaurants, museums, culture and of course, all the mountains. I probably will never hike the 14’teeners, but maybe that motorized exoskeleton device will help – it could happen.
So what are the downsides of moving back? Aside from the winters (climate change seems to be helping there), it is also the memories of my life with Jan. We spent the better part of our lives here, and we’ve traveled together through most of the state. Every time I drive from the airport to whatever place I’m staying at, I get flooded by memories – places we used to dine at, all the stores we visited every time we built or remodeled a home, the hotels and resorts we stayed at across the state. Wonderful times, but sad memories.
So what is the solution? Beats the heck out of me. My 2+ years of life as a widower has really changed my perspective on life, that being how unpredictable things can be. Once you hit your mid-70’s, you really do have to think about those “what ifs”. I’ve been considering moving into a condo, rather than a stand-alone home in my next move – I love having a yard, but how much longer will I be able to do all the work involved in maintaining the landscaping and outside of the house. It’s a lot of work. And maybe I need to consider what Jan used to call a wrinkle ranch – one of those communities where you can easily transition from active adult to assisted living. Just too many things to consider, and quite frankly, I’m overwhelmed with all the life changes I have had to make in the last three years.
Perhaps I should just take it slow for now – continue to do research on potential landing zones, and see how things go with my current situation. I’ve been tossing around the idea of buying a second property somewhere – maybe I do that in Colorado somewhere, or rent a property for a few months to see how I like it. Too many choices.
I like the take it slow option – I’ll just keep on traveling for now. But maybe start poking around at condos in the Denver area – I drove through downtown yesterday, and I could see myself in one of those high-rises with a view. A potted plant or two on the balcony, enough wall space for my expanding photo gallery…life is good.
As for that hint about gnomes, I had a great first day on this trip. My shopping goal is to find the ultimate pair of hiking pants – I’ve got a half-dozen pairs at home, but I want something that sheds water, and is more rugged for some of the more adventurous hikes I’ve been taking in colder climates. Yesterday, I visited the Arc’tyrex store in the RiNo district of Denver. It was like a Lewis Black moment, where he jokes about going to a Starbucks, walks out and sees another Starbucks across the street. In this case, Patagonia had a flagship store right across the street. A little slice of heaven. Afterwards, I met a group of friends to watch their son at a swim meet, and then went to dinner at….the Grateful Gnome. I posted about my first visit. This time it was just as good, and just as peculiar. I’d probably weigh 300 pounds if I lived close by. I asked the owner if they sold their own “Grateful Gnome” garden gnome, to add to my collection. Nope. So I bought a t-shirt instead. I may need to join Gnomes Anonymous some day.
Funny thing – as we were leaving the restaurant, I looked at the old art-deco movie theater across the street. There were two small relief sculpture embedded in the wall. I kind of thought they looked like gnomes. Take a look for yourself. Gnomes! They are everywhere!
Peace
