The Traveling Widower

Tag: grief

  • In Memory Of

    A photograph of the author’s wife, sitting at a table on a boat deck in Maui, smiling at the camera with a serene ocean background and a clear blue sky.

    April 27th, 2026

    I try to pretty much stick to photography and travel related topics in this blog, but once in a while, the widower part of me needs to post something about my wife. This is one of those times.

    Today is the second anniversary of her passing. This coming May 20th will be the third anniversary of the day her brain tumor made it’s presence known, the start of the 11 month nightmare of Glioblastoma. I can’t really say that I’m handling either of these days any better than the first time around.

    Jan was my soul mate, my partner in everything, our lives were totally intertwined. Traveling is my escape from grieving her loss – the joy in my life is now limited to the amazing things I see through the lens of my cameras, and the pleasure I get of sharing my travel experiences through the strange stories I write in this blog.

    Last year, I escaped to the coast to photograph hummingbirds, and had a martini or two that evening at a nice hotel. This year, I am alcohol free by my physician’s orders. so I’ll have a NA beer at home, but pour a lightly dirty vodka martini for Jan.

    If you were a friend of Jan’s, think of her smile and her laugh, and give her a toast with your favorite drink. She’d appreciate that. I would too.

    Peace be with you.

    The author and his wife taking a selfie outdoors with a clear blue sky in the background.
    A woman sitting at an outdoor table, holding a glass of white wine, smiling and resting her chin on her hand. In the background, there are wooden barrels and a rustic building.
    A woman in a blue apron holds a large kitchen knife, smiling playfully in a cooking class setting with other participants in the background.
    A woman sitting on a bench at a tennis court, holding a tennis racket and smiling. In the background, there are multiple tennis courts with green fences and palm trees.
    A woman with short blonde hair smiling and resting her chin on her hands, seated in a cozy restaurant with framed artworks on the walls.

  • Two Years Changes Everything

    January 13th, 2026

    I’d normally post this in the journal section of my site, but I am traveling, sitting at a bar in a hotel, so I figured this belongs on the travel blog. Spoiler alert – it’s not exactly a happy post.

    It’s amazing how much can change in a couple of years. This day, two years ago, my wife was struggling with both short and long term memory as the tumor continued to destroy her brain. But she worked so hard at being able to wish me a happy birthday that morning when I woke up. It meant a lot to both of us. Birthdays were always something we celebrated, usually with a good dinner and strange birthday cards. That evening, we had our usual celebration at our favorite restaurant (Southfork), and we shared the usual gigantic ice cream pie…she even ate a good chunk of it. It was a good day.

    A slice of birthday cake on a plate with 'Happy Birthday' written in chocolate syrup, topped with a lit candle and almonds.

    So today was the first where I’ve reached that unfortunate point in life, when most of the birthday wishes I get are e-mails from health care and travel companies, and from a few close friends. Please – I’m not complaining to my friends, since I did not go around telling everyone what my birth date is. No expectations there. It’s just that my parents, in-laws, brother and wife have all passed, so there is really nobody left to celebrate with. Welcome to old age.

    But, today I’m in Santa Cruz, and spent the morning photographing Elephant Seals at Ano Nuevo State Park. I’m sitting in the hotel bar, eating a pretty good burger, a vodka martini that someone else payed for, and now a nice glass of Cabernet (Daou).  Last evening, I had dinner with friends I have not seen in a long time, and talked a lot about my travels and of course, Jan. These were all good friends of hers. Tomorrow I’ll be back with the Elephant Seals, and plan to cruise around some other places on the coast, and then have dinner with a friend. Thursday I’ll spend time with another good friend of ours who I have not seen in a while, and then head back home. So it’s turning into a nice, short trip. But much like Christmas, from now on, this is a day I’m just going to ignore. There is just not much to celebrate anymore.

    Life goes on.