The Traveling Widower

Tag: grief

  • Trip Planning for 2026



    After the last burst of caves and tunnels, I pretty much ran out of ideas and energy for any more of these mini-trips. It’s not that there aren’t any places of interest to visit in the area (well, maybe there aren’t….this is the Sacramento Valley), I’m just kind of burned out on long drives by myself. It was nice having friends along on two of the trips but most of the remaining places on my list require an overnight or two.

    And there is one other problem – August 17th is fast approaching and that would have been our 50th anniversary. Last year I was still in shock, and I do not recall what I did on what would have been our 49th anniversary.  Jan so wanted to make it to our 50th, and we had planned a trip starting in Portugal, traveling to Spain, and then across to Morocco – this anniversary is hitting me harder than I was expecting. My solution will be the same as what I did for the one year anniversary of her passing – head to the coast, and do some of the fun things we did together. Definitely a whale tour, and possibly kayaking in the Elkhorn Slough with the sea otters. That will keep me from going down the rabbit hole of grief. A martini or two on that evening will help.  

    Kayaking in Elkhorn Slough

    What I have been doing the past few weeks is scheduling trips for 2026, and considering some adventures for 2027. My experience with having a potential diagnosis of a life threatening cancer, which fortunately was a lab mistake, made me reconsider my priorities for the next few years. Once you hit your 70’s, you have to start considering that mortality thing. And also realize that your physical condition can change very fast. I’m doing OK for an old fart, still have all my original body parts and a mostly functional brain. But all that can change in a flash. So I’m planning to schedule the more adventurous trips on my bucket list in the next 2 or 3 years – that would include an African safari, and anything that requires more serious hiking, kayaking and snorkeling. If I remain healthy as I get further along in years, that’s great. If not, I can switch to more cruise oriented trips, and have lots of good memories without the could-woulda-shoudas about the trips I never was able to do.  

    My itinerary, so far, through 2026 is:

    • Alaska Inner Passages (September 25)
    • Colorado – Manitou Incline (September/October 25)
    • Antarctica (November 25)
    • Glamping with Gray Whales in Baja (February 26)
    • National Geographic Iceland “Expedition” (July 26)
    • Photographing Grizzly Bears/Kodiak Island (August 26)
    • National Geographic Patagonia “Expedition” (November 26)

    I’m also considering an adventurous photography trip to Costa Rica for 2026/2027 – plenty of room on the calendar to fit that in. 

    I’ll be filling the in-between months with more domestic trips such as another attempt at “The Wave” and other hikes in Utah/Arizona, snorkeling/kayaking trips to Florida – I’ve got my stack of catalogs and a long bucket list of domestic things to see, that will keep me busy traveling, expanding my photo libraries, and writing new blog posts for a while.

    I’m just not ready for those Viking river cruises yet. 

  • Scouring Spotted Spurge – gardening, a widowers hobby

    OK, so this has nothing to do with travel, But there is that other word in the domain name which this does relate to (widow, not garden), so I may throw some odd posts in related to my journey through the grief wilderness since my wife passed. And besides, as I’ve said before, it’s my blog! I can make up the rules as I go along!

    I do not think of myself as a gardener – I’m more of an amateur landscape designer, that likes to plant things. I rarely write down what I plant, so I have no clue after a year as to what’s growing in my yard and have to use Google lense when someone asks “what is that?”. I love the way it looks in the spring and summer when everything is blooming, and find it relaxing to just sit in the shade and watch the pollinators and hummingbirds buzzing around. I spent a lot of time in my little haven while Jan was beginning to decline – my own little sanctuary, most of the time worry, cry or both, when Jan was sleeping or talking on the phone.

    As it turns out, a lot of the widows/widowers I know are more serious gardeners and even know the names of what they plant. Imagine that. It’s a time consuming hobby which requires planning and effort….all good things. There is a real sense of accomplishment when everything is growing. And, there are clubs to join, which provides another source of socializing, again, something important when your prior social world has collapsed.

    Aside from puttering around on my own property and helping reconstruct a friends sprinkler system, I have also been a volunteer in the Garden Guild of the church I joined after my wife passed (Trinity Episcopal Church in Folsom). We have a wonderful professional (pHD) horticulturist  who designs the grounds, and relies on volunteers to help with the planting, pruning, mulching, and all the various tasks required to maintain a very large garden. It’s fun for me – it gives me something else to do, and I get to socialize with the worker-bees. It’s been important for me during periods when the only social contact I have is with the checkout clerks at the local grocery store. Nice people there.

    Today was a maintenance day, with a small group planting a few things, and doing a lot of weeding and cleanup. I volunteered for weeding an area overgrown with my unfavorite weed – the dreaded yellow spotted spurge. It’s sticky, and grows into thick mats. I guess you could consider it free ground cover. The rest of the crew worked on other areas. The really cool thing about the work we do, are the results. The gardens on this property are absolutely gorgeous. The church is set in an old neighborhood of Folsom, and the neighbors all comment on how absolutely beautiful the gardens are, especially now that everything is blooming. You get a sense of pride in being part of the effort to maintain this. That’s something important when you are sad and depressed a lot the time. 

    That last one shows the mass of spurge…there were about 3 buckets worth. The rest are just a few photos of the garden areas. There’s lots more which I did not photograph.

    OK, end of gardening. I promise the next post will be about travel. I’ve got two more caves, a Sequoia forest, an old railroad tunnel filled with graffiti, and possibly another old mining site lined up in the next few weeks. Plus, I’m free from the medical constraints which kept me from being far from home (woo hoo!). I’ve got eight weeks before I leave for Alaska. I think I can fill that time with some fun things.