The Traveling Widower

Tag: Widower

  • Two Years as a Traveling Widower

    July 25th, 2026

    I’m sitting in the Sacramento airport (SMF) once again, waiting to depart for my shopping trip to Denver. That’s not the real reason I’m going there – I want to visit all my friends. Colorado is still home to me. This is a no-photography trip – the only camera I’m bringing is my phone. I’m kind of burned out on lugging cameras around, and my next trip will be all about photography for two full weeks. I need a break. 

    As I was checking in for my flight, I realized this was getting close to the first trip I made after Jan passed in 2024, and since then I have made 10 other flights to somewhere in the U.S. or to other parts of the world. I have also done around a dozen trips by car to State and National Parks in the West, or just to my favorite haunts along the California coast. All told, I’ve probably been on the road for 25 weeks since travel became the focus of my life, and as a friend once said, my escape from grief. Guilty as charged. 

    After almost two years of solo travel, I’ve become used to living out of suitcases, staying in hotels or small cabins on ships, eating alone in hotel bars, and the hardest thing of all, being social with a bunch of strangers that I share most of my adventurous trips with. This has probably been the most significant new skill to develop for me. I had Jan to take care of that for 49 years. I still have moments where I feel like running back to my cabin on a ship, but manage to tamp that down. Take a deep breath and dive in. I have realized that most everyone on these trips is there for pretty much the same reason I’m there (photography, hiking, etc), and almost all are more than willing to sit and talk, and share stories with a strange old guy. It is nice being around people for days in a row when I’m traveling – it is still difficult being the odd-man out with mostly couples. That is one of the downsides of solo travel. But it beats sitting alone in my house for days at a time. At least I have not gotten to the point where I’m out yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

    But this trip will be great since there’s no pressure to be out early for some long hike or other strenuous activity. I’m looking forward to a few dinners, and just sitting around with good friends. Even if I have to consume N/A drinks. Ugh.

    And then I’ll be off to a few more adventures this year – Kodiak Island, Patagonia and the Sea of Cortez. At least I’ll have my digital friends with me on those trips. Max and Aperture do not require passports, and get to ride free. I wish they could carry my camera gear though.

    Two men and a golden retriever standing on rocky terrain with mountains and a cloudy sky in the background.
    Max, Aperture and myself in Iceland

    This is not real, generated by Gemini. And I wish Gemini had not made Max taller than me.

    Peace

  • In Memory Of

    A photograph of the author’s wife, sitting at a table on a boat deck in Maui, smiling at the camera with a serene ocean background and a clear blue sky.

    April 27th, 2026

    I try to pretty much stick to photography and travel related topics in this blog, but once in a while, the widower part of me needs to post something about my wife. This is one of those times.

    Today is the second anniversary of her passing. This coming May 20th will be the third anniversary of the day her brain tumor made it’s presence known, the start of the 11 month nightmare of Glioblastoma. I can’t really say that I’m handling either of these days any better than the first time around.

    Jan was my soul mate, my partner in everything, our lives were totally intertwined. Traveling is my escape from grieving her loss – the joy in my life is now limited to the amazing things I see through the lens of my cameras, and the pleasure I get of sharing my travel experiences through the strange stories I write in this blog.

    Last year, I escaped to the coast to photograph hummingbirds, and had a martini or two that evening at a nice hotel. This year, I am alcohol free by my physician’s orders. so I’ll have a NA beer at home, but pour a lightly dirty vodka martini for Jan.

    If you were a friend of Jan’s, think of her smile and her laugh, and give her a toast with your favorite drink. She’d appreciate that. I would too.

    Peace be with you.

    The author and his wife taking a selfie outdoors with a clear blue sky in the background.
    A woman sitting at an outdoor table, holding a glass of white wine, smiling and resting her chin on her hand. In the background, there are wooden barrels and a rustic building.
    A woman in a blue apron holds a large kitchen knife, smiling playfully in a cooking class setting with other participants in the background.
    A woman sitting on a bench at a tennis court, holding a tennis racket and smiling. In the background, there are multiple tennis courts with green fences and palm trees.
    A woman with short blonde hair smiling and resting her chin on her hands, seated in a cozy restaurant with framed artworks on the walls.